Project Nightshade:
The Potato Conspiracy

Day Seven to Day Ten: Where is he?

Key: Gothor posts. Reader comments. Notes from Thor

From: l33t m4st3r | Posted: 1/30/2003 1:25:50 PM
so what was in the box? GOOD GOD MAN WHAT WAS IN THE FREAKING BOX?!
From: MetaKnight4 | Posted: 1/31/2003 11:19:36 AM
where is he?
From: Regu The Elf | Posted: 1/31/2003 1:40:21 PM
He must be 'Dead'
From: Nhoj | Posted: 1/31/2003 2:34:43 PM
He probably ate the potato
From: Nhoj | Posted: 2/2/2003 1:44:47 PM
Gothor where are you?
Note from Thor
Things suddenly shifted from the Potato Conspiracy to the Archive conspiracy.
From: METARIDLEYDRAGOON2 | Posted: 2/2/2003 1:45:54 PM
I just figured something out he copied this from an archies weird mysteris show!
From: SetoKaiba1324 | Posted: 2/2/2003 3:51:08 PM
OMG, your right!! cept he added stuff.
From: METARIDLEYDRAGOON2 | Posted: 2/2/2003 4:04:16 PM
I know but none the less its a rip off.
From: METARIDLEYDRAGOON2 | Posted: 2/2/2003 5:07:16 PM
I bet he got sued by the people who make archies weird mysteries.
Note from Thor
I had no idea what these guys were talking about. After checking Google, I found out that there was some Archie/X-Files show that aired while I was all homeless and stuff. The poliot was called "Attack of the Killer Spuds!" If you can't figure out why they didn't just call it "Attack of the killer Potatoes," you need to expand your knowledge of intentionally bad movies that were later turned into unintentionally bad Saturday morning cartoons.
From: Vyyk | Posted: 2/2/2003 5:36:32 PM | Message Detail
I saw him posting on the Literature board. I think he's gotten tired of this silly story. I know I have.
Note from Thor
Oh no! We've lost Vyyk! He was the resident skeptic, like Scully without the pouty lips! Since I'm sure we'll never, ever hear from him again, a moment of silence in his honor.

Day Eleven: Close encounters of the shark kind.

From: gothor | Posted: 2/3/2003 4:05:27 PM
Gothor here. Message #15.

Man, the last two days have really ******. (I can expose a top-level government conspiracy here, but I can't say what a vaccume cleaner does?)

I was pushed out a moving car and landed in something soft: mud. I've been hichhiking towards Blackfoot, Idaho ever since. The closer I get, the more rural it gets. When I ask about Net Cafes, people laugh. When I asked in Cave Junction, some guy with a missing tooth hit me and stole my backpack.

I'm finally in Idaho, travelling East along a frustratingly deserted highway. When a car passes by, I hold out my thumb. I don't bother looking back anymore. When I do, people flash me with their high beams. Lost in self-pity, I didn't hear a vehicle slow behind me. But I sure felt it when someone grabbed my arm and dragged me inside.

I hit the guy with all the strength and finesse of a kitten in a boxing match.

"Woah now! That's a strange way to treat someone."

"Uh. Oh. Sorry man. I've, uh --"

"Don't say another word. Out here in the wildes of Wendell, it's a matter of survival! You're either friend or foe, predator or pray." He stretched out a big hand. It was covered in greasy gray paint. I shook it noticing other strange things about him. Like the fact that there was a gray fin on his head. He grinned, revealing two rows of teeth: One real, the other plastic.

"Mortimer Jerry Jones, Travelling Shark FINatic, at your service!"

"Gothor."

"Gunther, what do you know about sharks?"

"Um, not much. Obviously less than you." (His car was covered with pictures of sharks, wrinked shark pamphlets, and instead of a dancing nun on a spring... well, you can probably guess.) "And it's Gothor."

"Sharks are misunderstood. They gots feelings and hopes and dreams. I once met a shark who dreamed of being an actor. And do you know what happened to that shark? She ended up in Jaws 4! Great movie, Gunther. At one point, a shark outraces a jumbo jet!"

"Ah." I said.

"But there's a shark out there named Chocky, s'just as nasty as they say. One day a travelling zoo got in a big accident along highway 86. Its tank shattered, but that shark was... well, he was too mean to die. He ate up the other animals, the zookeepers too, then disappeared in a corn field." He pointed out the window. "That cornfield right there."

"You're kidding, right?"

He looked at me, a deep frown on his face. "No sir. I don't kid. Not about sharks."

I peered out the window at the dark rows of corn. Lightning flashed and I thought I caught a glimpse of something moving.

"Let's play some music," I said, turning on the radio. The tape deck clicked and the theme to Jaws sprang to life. Mortimer started nodding his head to it. "Yessir, music tames the savage beast! Da da! Da da da da! Da da DUM! Da da --"

I ejected the tape. Even country music would be better than this. There was nothing but static. But the static seemed to find a voice and speak to me across a vast distance.

"GIVE UP THERE IS NO HOPE NO HOPE FOR YOU NO MEANS OF ESCAPE GIVE UP NOW BEFORE WE SEND THE ONE THE COMPLACENT ONE THE ONE WHO WILL KILL --"
From: gothor | Posted: 2/3/2003 4:05:27 PM
(Message #16)

I turned the radio off. "Hey..." Mortimer said. "I was listening to that."

Floodlights hit us from behind, reflecting in the review mirror. Mortimer swore and kept his eyes on the road. Then they opened fire.

"Pull over man, I don't want you to get hurt."

"I can't, son," he said, patting the dashboard. "She's gotta keep moving or she dies."

Great.

I opened the door and tumbled out, tumbling down a path between the rows of corn.

As he sped off, Mortimer called out, "Bye, Gunther! If you meet Chocki, be sure to.." but the rest was drowned out by the skid of tires and doors slamming shut. The men who smelled like garbage were after me.

I groaned and ran blindly down the path. Behind me, wet footsteps, pounding in the mud. Then I heard unearthly screams and gunfire. Then more screams. I didn't want anything to do with something that could make one of those things afraid. I tore through the path until I tripped on an outstretched root.

I groaned, almost losing consciousness. Then lightning flashed and I saw something horrible coming towards me.

Slick with rain, easily parting the moist soil, was a huge fin.

Gothor out. I'll post more when I can.
From: sweetman25 | Posted: 2/3/2003 4:12:03 PM
Considering how ubelievable this story is, it is still a good story. You should save these posts in word and try to make a short story or a book out of it. You have a great sense of storytelling.
From: exodia1 | Posted: 2/3/2003 4:18:56 PM
how is he posting if he has no comp, or place to access teh internet?
From: darkrealm72 | Posted: 2/3/2003 5:58:52 PM
jaws 3 and 4 really did suck too
From: St0nedf0rLyfe | Posted: 2/3/2003 11:39:09 PM | Message Detail
I'm sorry but at first it got my attention but by page 2 it's starting to sound too much like fiction. Try to keep it stable.

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- Gothor out.

More stuff by J.R. Antrim.