Today, while wondering if I could move into the dead tax collector's house, I inadvertently solved his murder, returned his ring to his sweetheart in the lighthouse, and slew his murderer. I didn't get the taxman's house, but at least I got $500 and the keys to the murderer's shack!

Recipe: Luminous Russula, Rat Meat and Ampoule Pods make a damn fine Paralyze Poison.

I swam twenty yards to find a horseshoe crab, and it turned out to be a swimming rat. Who says rats are dirty creatures?

Contracted Ash-chance disease from Larve Warriors, which robbed me of most of my charisma. Left town after being shunned. (Asked where to find cure, told to go cure myself.) Heading north, in search of help.

Contracted Witbane from a diseased rat while seeking the Ash-chance cure. Wee.

Recipe: Hound Meat (Rest. Fat) + Comberry (Dr. Fat) = Reflect.

Axe broke. No spell points. Wandering around, constant rain soaking through my robes, no longer wondering why this place is called the Bitter Coast.

Spotted an old man falling from sky. Picked the, ah... wrong time to write in my journal. The wizard, Tarhiel, somehow survived the fall! Traditionally, falling wizards are an excellent source of magic swords. But this one didn't want to die, and when I tried asking nice, he, "Didn't want to talk about it." Looting bodies is one thing; making them is another. Left him standing on his big book to ponder this over.

Damn bugs! (These gnats are driving me crazy.) There has to be a way to get this guy dead without tarnishing my reputation.

Eureka! Spotted giant flying gas bubble squid thing floating not far away. I shot a few fireballs to provoke it, then readied a heal spell lead it back to the wizard.

But the squid and the wizard must have been in cahoots!

The squid refused to shoot its usual volley of acid. The wizard took off with my Iron Sparksword and the squid chased after us, hitting me in the face with its tentacles. Nothing can stop this !@#$ wizard, and now I've got sucker marks on my forehead.

Finally just tried stealing the damn thing. Attempt at pickpocketing failed, wizard pulled the magic sword, which startled the squid so bad it shot out an acid ball.

Going north, with my new sword.

IMMEDIATELY got lost. Wandered a mountain path, before meeting a high elf who pointed me to a camp. "These guys are friendly," he said. "Get your diseased carcass away from me," the campers said.

Stumbled across an ancient tomb. Slew zombie-thing. Donated 35 gold at a Shrine to receive a blessing. St. Veloth, curing blights at reasonable prices!

Ran into another zombie, who cursed me with zero strength. Too weak to crawl back to the Shrine, too poor to pay for a blessing. As far as slow, immobile deaths go, this will probably be my last.