Late Night Mystery Movies

It was a time before IMDb, a time when you could catch a movie midway through and have no idea what the hell you were watching.

Horror Movie Mini-Reviews

If a picture's worth a thousand words, these horror movie reviews are guaranteed to be worth less than a picture!

Unqualified Critical Analysis

In which Zeus nitpicks movies to death. Light on recap, heavy on spoilers.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2011) Review
Guillermo del Toro tries his hand at a cheesy, 1970s made-for-tv-horror-movie.

Alien vs. Predator: Requiem Review
My Alien vs. Predator: Requiem Review breaks down what went wrong and how I would have approached the material.

Really, Really Old Reviews

These were written for fun 10-15 years ago. If you don't remember them, you're in for a treat. And if you do, I hope you're enjoying your 30s!

Halloween III: Season of the Witch Review
Halloween III isn't a very good Halloween movie. It's not even a very good Halloween movie. But damn if I don't watch it every Halloween.

Stephen King's The Mist PC Game Review
Text adventures frustrate me. Mazes are annoying enough when I can actually see them, and I have a heart condition--I really shouldn't be messing around with text parsers. I made an exception with Angelsoft's The Mist and it nearly cost me my life. Not really.

Black Heaven: Hard Rock Save the Space Review
A Japanese salaryman who saves the world with hair metal? This is pretty damn weird, even for an anime.

Gooflumps! Eat Cheese and Barf Review
A Goosebumps spoof written for kids, before kids got things like Harry Potter.

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