Stephen King's The Mist PC Game Review

by Zeus | Written: 2000-02-20

Stephen King's The Mist PC Game by Angelsoft
Image credit: Giant Bomb

I dig text games -- at least ones with good writing -- but aside from the rare Legend of the Red Dragon orgy, I never play 'em. They frustrate me: mazes are annoying enough when you can actually see them... and I have a heart condition; I really shouldn't be messing with text parsers.

I made an exception with Stephen King's The Mist text adventure by Angelsoft, because it followed the short story's plot closely.

After a strange mist blankets a small town, the hero finds himself in a supermarket under assault by hedious creatures.

The Mist - Clothes

Blarg, that's no fun! And neither are supermarkets, so naturally my first steps were out the front door.

The Mist - Squash

Um, right then, I'll investigate the store. After a couple of minutes wandering empty asiles, avoiding local yokels, I realized I wasn't going to like The Mist much... even before things got glitchy.

The Mist - Raid

I got my hopes up when I found a back door, but it just lead to a useless truck. Maybe I was going about this the wrong way. No man is an island. Humbled, I searched for human companionship.

The Mist - Hilda

Hilda was as shy as I was awkward ("tye"?). Desperate, I broke about 47 personal rules and initiated small talk with a Church Lady.

The Mist - Sacrifice

No matter how much I strove to avoid her, Carmody would track me down and make me her sacrificial virgin. Apparantly she was a sort of crude "get the heck outside" motivator. Geepers, I love time limits in puzzle games! Especially when they force you outside to an almost certain and unavoidable death:

The Mist - The Bug

Riddle: How doth our hero vanquish The Bug? After several minutes, the water-soaked-wooden-bong-like wheels of my mind churned out a solution. Raid! But the Raid, though previously mentioned, was nowhere to be found.

More wandering, more being sacrificed. Huzzah, the monotony is finally broken when I discover a box of salt. Yay for salt.

Hey, The Bug was "slug-like", right?

The Mist - Salt Bug

I realized then that The Mist has no puzzles. There's no actual skill involved. You just bumbled around until your inevitible Death by Sacrifice/Random Insect Encounter. Even trial and error was imposible; the save system wanted to format my hard drive.

After aeons the random Bug/Hoary Foot events failed to trigger, allowing me to get to finally get the hell out of there, but not before I came down with a previously undocumented phobia of grocery stores.

Fearful of pop music and discounts, I sought solace in the local garbage dump, but in time, even that simple joy lost its luster. On the verge of virtual suicide, I hit the streets and ducked in the nearest exterminator's.

The Mist - Spider

After a half hour that felt like six years in Hell, everything was falling into place: I picked up the Raid, aimed it at the bug, and...

The Mist - No

Zeus actually prefers Myst. Ouch...

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